Sometimes I treat people that I pastor unfairly. It isn’t right, and I feel corrected by the Holy Spirit every time I do it. I find myself preaching to people that aren’t even in attendance. For instance, on any given service, people will be absent for whatever reason (some good, some not). Some people notified you, some didn’t (I don’t like 11th hour surprises).
So I may start talking about the need for commitment to regular scheduled services. My tone may be wrong when I express my desire for people to recognize their need for preaching. And all the while, I am saying this to people that actually did get the family ready and show up to service. I am preaching to the choir, so to speak. Linguistically lashing out at the wrong crowd.
Thankfully, I am maturing and don’t make this mistake too often – at least not at church. You don’t have to be at church to make this mistake.
- Perhaps your first husband was horrible, and now the anger you have for him, is directed at your present husband.
- Your parents may have been given to the rod, and now you don’t discipline your children at all. Without even recognizing it, you aren’t giving your children the guidance they need, all because you are preaching to the wrong crowd.
- Somebody broke your heart – and now all men are evil.
- Some people did leave your church, and you are taking it out on the saints that stayed.
- Dad had a rough day at worked. His boss raked him over the coals. And when he gets home, he anoints his family with his anger.
- You invest your life, and invite somebody to church, and get rejected. Now you feel like nobody wants the gospel these days. So you quit reaching.
- One Christian is a gossip, now you don’t want anything to do with all Christians.
- One of your children breaks the rules, now all your children suffer the consequences.
It’s unfair for others to suffer for somebody else’s failure. They don’t feel valued, and often have no idea where in the world you are coming from.
Love the one you’re with:
- Learn to confront the right people in a godly fashion. Often times the lack of confrontation on your end, leads to continued crisis on all ends.
- Be with whom you are with. Don’t include invisible characters. The boss, ex-girlfriend, etc.
- Don’t spend your best energy on your worst enemies. Save the best part of you for those that are there for you.
- Kill your lions and give the honey. Don’t get into details about your struggles; rather pass out the sweetness from your success.
- Some doors (situations) need to be shut, and opened later. Other doors need to be closed and remain closed. But never allow issues to follow you through new doors.
- When you recognize that you are talking to your wife, how you’d like to talk to your boss: stop and ask for forgiveness.
- Learn to change your hats. Husband hat. Father hat. Employee hat. Wear the right hat to avoid future headaches.
- Don’t allow what (or who) you don’t have to take away from what (or who) you do have.