Do you have a Person?

October 24, 2012

Post by Michael Glover

In the TV series, “Grey’s Anatomy”, the main character Meredith Grey becomes best friends with Cristina Yang. It’s a unique friendship. Meredith is a woman trying to find her place in the world, while dealing with her childhood. On the other hand, Cristina is intense, career driven and determined to become the best cardiothoracic surgeon in the world.

Despite their differing personalities and goals, they develop a very close relationship. They define their relationship with the simple phrase, “you’re my person”.

These two challenge each other; always hold the other accountable for their actions and for reaching their full potential. They help each other through the tough times, become strong when the other is weak and encourage each other to keep going when the going gets tough.

They’re each other’s person, and as such, talk about things they wouldn’t think of talking about with anyone else.

Real spiritual bro, yeah I know, however it brings up a good question.

Do you have a person?

If you’re married, this should be an easy question to answer. One of the great gifts God gives us when we leave our father and mother and become united and cleave to our spouse and become one flesh, is this opportunity to have our spouse become our person.

My wife and I have only been married for 2 years, but she’s been my person for 2 ½ years. I met her in Iraq of all places and we quickly became each other’s best friend. She and I did everything together. We didn’t always get along, we often had differing opinions and strong arguments, but we didn’t allow it to affect our friendship.

I believe this is the most important thing in a marriage. In my opinion, passion, physical attraction, children, pets, or whatever will not keep a couple together. However if your spouse is your person then your marriage will grow and flourish while you deal with the trials and tribulations that life brings your way.

That being said my question, “Do you have a person?” isn’t answered by saying, “Yes, my wife Megan.” As precious as that is, I believe you need to have a person outside of your marriage. (Same sex as you of course).

My Person

My person was born exactly 30 minutes after me. My twin brother Greg is my person.

  1. We have always challenged each other to be the best at whatever we do. Do you have a person?
  2. We say the worst things to each other, get in the meanest arguments, and have even literally tried to rip each other’s faces off, but seconds later, we can put all that behind us and hang out as if nothing happened. Do you have a person?
  3. I can tell Greg anything knowing he won’t judge me for it. Do you have a person?
  4. We help each other “think outside the box” as a result we help each other do what we do; better. Do you have a person?
  5. In the worst moments of our lives, we have done what was necessary to help each other through them. Do you have a person?
  6. In the best moments of our lives, we have celebrated together as if we both had just accomplished the victory, raise, stronger marriage, etc. Do you have a person?
  7. Looking at what my brother is doing in his life sometimes makes me feel like a worm (that’s a good thing). Do you have a person?
  8. We discuss our spiritual lives, talk scripture and every aspect of our emerging discipleship on a daily basis. Do you have a person?
  9. We give each other the hard talk when necessary. Do you have a person?

One more time…Do you have a person?

If you don’t have a person, I encourage you to find one.

Disclaimer: Only do it if you want to become a better spouse, employee, parent, leader, Christian, in other words, a better person.